I had 2 computer expert-ish housemates and one computer expert-ish teammate all staring at my laptop-in-a-coma yesterday afternoon, all looking just as blank as its screen.
One of the aforementioned housemates then lent me a spare laptop of his which is very good of him, but it can't go online as it pre-dates when laptops were made with any means of connecting a phone line or USB cable. And I have to get hold of a Windows 98 CD so I can change the keyboard to English and touchtype!
So I'm still looking for an angel with a screwdriver... today I'll head to a Computer Fixing Place to get an estimate of whether it's possible to fix or worth fixing - accompanied by aforementioned computerish team mate so I don't get ripped off through looking too obviously non computer expert-ish.
In the meantime...
And luuve
And as I was having a drink with the 2 housemates aforementioned yesterday evening, one announced the problem (with the world) is that we're all looking for happiness, but we're looking in the wrong places: money, success, career, politics... "Where is happiness found?" he asked, "Where is happiness found?" turning to me. I had a feeling that it was a semi-rhetorical question and he was about to tell us, partly because he seemed to be half-way through an ongoing dispute with his girlfriend about feminism, to which the rest of us weren't really partie, but he was demanding an answer from me, so I said, "Joy is found in God." It wasn't the answer he wanted, and it shocked him enough to deflect him for 5 seconds.
Love, he said. Love between a man and a woman. Whereupon my mind filled with images of a bloke swinging round pillars on the roof of the Moulin Rouge singing heartily "All you need is love!" morphing into the vicar from The Princess Bride saying, "Luve, twue luuve...". I didn't know we still had any believers in Bohemianism. What struck me in the ensuing rambling discussion was that the accompanying idea of love was supremely self-seeking rather than self-giving.
I've got to think about how self-seeking Bohemian love is different from self-giving Christian hedonist love [answers on a postcard - or comments will do], but quite apart from that, I'm far from immune from distorting love too. I was challenged recently reading Paul writing to the Philippian believers that God is his witness how he longs for them with the love of Christ. I can often try to break down love into 'what I should do': the practice of a collection of attitudes, actions and emotions which are loving. This falls short of loving with the affection of Christ Jesus. I pray that I would love with the love of Christ, not merely practise that which may be part of it. And the love of Christ is such that I need to pray for the power of the Spirit just to begin to get a grasp on how huge it is - quite apart from praying about practising it!
2 comments:
I guess what I'm challenged by when it comes to love is what happens when I'm just not 'feeling' it. Self-centered Bohemian love often may say, give up. Self-giving Christian love says never give up. In fact thats the very definition of love. True love is an action. And it's an action against all odds. Love never fails, always perservers etc. That 1 Cor passage just points out how incapable we are of true love. Only God demonstrates true love. And he did so in Jesus. At just the moment when Jesus 'felt' it the least that was the very moment he chose to act.
Love is a decision.
And a heart-cry to God to give me His love for ppl, to love them through me, to show me His heart towards them.
I think if there is one prayer that is guaranteed to be answered it's this. God *is* love, so He's honour-bound to share His nature with His children who make the decision to ask.
But oh, it hurts.
How much more did it hurt Him.
Post a Comment